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By Jeff & Kate Fuller
There is more than enough written harping on the younger generations for their lack of motivation, their addiction to “screen time,” and the overall lack of togetherness time spent in American families. No parent can claim that they haven’t heard about the theory that we are letting digital devices and school activities essentially handle the rearing of our children. I’m not here to discount the importance of participation in sports and activities, and I’m not going to downplay the immense relief that I get from time to time on long car rides where the number of “Are We There Yet’s?” is cut to a minimum, thanks to a smartphone loaded up with games. I’m not above a little digital bribery when needed, just like any other parent.
But I do want to share with you the thing that I have found to be the most beneficial and the most bonding, of all the activities I have done with my kids, and that, of course, has been hunting. Yes, I’ve leaped out of my cold metal bleacher seat to celebrate the Homecoming Game quarterback sack, and I’ve lounged lazily on the hot sand on various vacations while my boys played in the salty surf. I’ve not only been in the stands, but I’ve coached several my boys’ teams over the years, and we have taken our fair share of fun vacations, but neither sports nor vacationing bonds a parent and a child like a hunt.
You see, hunting is a lot more than just the taking of an animal. There’s the anticipation and preparation that the two of you will go through all year round. When the snow is falling, we’re leafing through the various glossy-paged catalogues by fireside, dreaming of what gear “Santa” might bring us for Christmas. When it’s icing in the dark misery of January, we’re drawing out plans for relocating deer stands and deciding between brassica mix or beets in front of them. And when it finally gets warm enough, the entire family heads north to our property to till in lime and push seed spreaders until our hands are blistered and our boots are caked with the dark, heavy earth. We plan together, we prep together, and that together-time all adds to the “hunting” experience. And clearly, not a shot has even been fired yet.
Nothing compares to the anticipation and preparation that takes place the week of or the day of the hunt. The final preparations probably contribute more to the bonding experience than any other part of the hunt. Ask anyone that hunted, and they’ll talk about the person that mentored them and their “traditions,” far more often than they will ever talk about any one specific hunt or any particular trophy animal taken. It’s more about that old blaze orange jacket that was Grandpa’s, that he tried on his grandson, year after year, that every year was waayyy too big, until finally, “The year I turned 14, I finally fit it.” It’s the memory of the coat – and Grandpa’s huge, creased smile that day – that this boy, now a man of 40 hunting with his own kids, shares with his young hunters.
One way to get a potential hunter involved is to start creating those traditions. Looking forward to these traditions helps create excitement for the actual hunt, which for someone new and young, can be a hard-sell if it’s below freezing and sleeting, and the bag of decoys weighs about as much as he does. With my boys, picking them up from school early on the Friday of the Wisconsin Youth Deer Opener is a long-standing tradition – and what kid doesn’t want to get out of school early? The wife makes sure that the truck is loaded up with all kinds of sugar-y, stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth snacks and treats, things they don’t get in their school lunches normally. Each morning of the hunt, I get up before the boys do and start up the old Mr. Coffee, filling our lodge with aroma of beans, and filling our trusty green Thermos for later. And every year, at least one of my boys can look forward to “inheriting” a piece of my gear, because they are finally tall enough for those really nice Carhart bibs, or their feet are finally big enough for those cozy 1000-gram insulated boots.
We have our traditions in the field too. Serious hunters wouldn’t consider it such, but one “tradition” is that at least one of my kids will sleep through part of the hunt (and will get teased for it). Last year was the first year my youngest, Callahan, sat in the groundblind alone, and I sat in a stand nearby, watching with mirth as not one, but two, deer walked right past his stand – no shots were fired. On waterfowl hunts, I love to see how they have each improved on their calling from year to year. My oldest, Clayton, is good enough that I feel confident now having him call for clients at our Lodge, in a blind on his own with them. And per the Fuller family tradition, my middle child, Cole, usually gets the nicest animal, whether that’s a nice little 10-point, or a beautiful banded wood duck. Friendly jawing with his brothers always follows, because that’s a tradition too.
What non-hunters don’t understand, is that when you’re hunting with someone special, the quarry taken (or not) doesn’t matter as much as the time spent. I’m not suggesting you run out and invest in the priciest youth compound bow, or stuff your kid in front of the latest issue of Field & Stream as part of his homework nightly. You can take the actual “hunting” aspect as seriously, or not seriously, as you want – and to start with, I would recommend going easy! Remember that it’s more about time spent, not money spent, and more about making memories than making trophies. Some of my most memorable hunts with my boys involved lots of clumsiness and mistakes - and few if any deer or ducks down – but they trigger the most smiles, laughs, and happy tears today as we reflect back on them. So put the tablet down, or rather, pick it up and start planning your first hunt together. It’s time spent that neither of you will regret.
The Fuller family regrets to share that our 17-year-old son, Cole, tragically took his life on April 4th. Cole struggled his last years, but we can say he was happiest and most himself on the hunt. It was the last activity he thrived at, and that he enjoyed engaging in with us. If that doesn’t say something about the value of the hunting experience, what does?
If God puts it on your heart, please donate to Mental Health America at https://www.mhawisconsin.org/make-a-donation.aspx, in memory of Cole Fuller. All funds earmarked for Cole are going towards implementing a suicide prevention program in his school and other schools in the area.